It was hard to believe and even harder to understand how we spent an entire day on a shore excursion and when the day ended had barely a faint idea of where we’d been or what we’d seen. 

We were just a few weeks out from our cruise along the Norwegian coast and had yet to book an escorted tour of the Lofoten Islands. We had heard the area was known for its dramatic scenery, steep mountain peaks, and loads of Viking history. 

Susan found an English-speaking tour promoted on Cruise Critic. I emailed the organizer, a German man by the name of Norbert, and he confirmed two spots remained. We jumped on it and arranged to meet onboard to finalize arrangements. 

We learned about German-style organization when we arrived for a “pre-tour” meeting in a bar onboard. Our fellow travelers each sported a name tag and held meeting handouts describing the itinerary. We showed up ten minutes late, fresh from the gym but not freshly changed. We sheepishly accepted the name tags with meeting materials, and sat as far away as we could but still hear Norbert’s presentation. We didn’t understand much anyway as we were the only couple in the group who spoke English as a first language. 

Apparently not satisfied that we had understood the appointed meeting time and place for the upcoming excursion after only one meeting, Norbert scheduled a second session to go over everything once again. We did not understand the need for another get together, but dutifully arrived on time this time - in fresh clothes. 

The tour date was upon us! Our ship docked in Leknes right on schedule, we met Norbert and our new German friends exactly as instructed and boarded a little bus that would take us around the islands. 

We were all set for the driver to begin announcing interesting and entertaining descriptions of what we would be seeing and experiencing for the day. Instead, Norbert saddled up near the driver and sat on the wide steel dash between him and the windshield. Then, he stood up, grasped the luggage rail above him to keep his balance, picked up the microphone and loudly relayed the driver’s descriptions in great detail to the group - in German! We didn’t understand a word he spoke. All day. 

You guessed it. Norbert’s advertisement of the tour as “English speaking” was meant as a warning to his Hessian friends that the tour guide did not speak German and they would have to rely on Norbert’s translation to understand what was being described. We shared dumb looks with each other before bursting out in laughter at our mutual misunderstanding.

We left the Lofotons somewhat in the dark, but did end up befriending Norbert and his wife Gabriele. Over the years, we’ve met their closest friends, taken cruises together, popped in for surprise birthday celebrations, visited each other’s homes several times and even cried together over lost loved ones. 

Now we understand.