How Rotorua, New Zealand made our bucket list is beyond me, but we woke up there one sunny morning, apparently drawn by an odd awareness of their famous Wai-O-Tapu geyser. 

Knowing we enjoyed thermal stuff at Yellowstone, we decided to head down to Rotorua in time to catch the 10:15 eruption. I was impressed that a geyser could blow with such regularity that gushing times could be posted in advance. 

We paid the rather steep entry fee of $60 and I started thinking this is really going to be good. We made our way to a wooden stand very close to the cone, joining a crowd of at least a hundred like-minded curiosity seekers. 

One of my regular geyser-viewing lines is “Well, maybe they forgot to turn it on today.” Just as I'm about to utter the joke to impress a couple of 12-year-old boys, a park ranger walked to within a few feet of the geyser and started a presentation. I was amazed that he had so much confidence in the regularity of a natural wonder that he would get so close to it, but he does this every day and knows the sounds of imminent eruption.

He explained the geyser was discovered long ago by prisoners for washing clothes. “Today we don't have to do our laundry to enjoy the geyser,” he explained as he dropped a chunk of something into it. Susan exclaimed, “He's priming the thing!” And sure enough, the guide talked a few more minutes before the geyser spewed forth a plume of water some ten feet in the air. Don't get me wrong; we were not expecting Old Faithful, but this was as contrived as a Disney adventure and any notion of being thrilled was dashed before the "eruption" quickly petered out. We were as let down as one might be coming upon the abrupt end of a story 

So much for the Waiotapu Thermal Wonder-land. They should change it to “Wonder-why”. You can thank me later for saving you the trip.