My husband and I celebrated a milestone anniversary recently.. Thirty-five years of wedded bliss. Seems like a long time - and yet, my how the years flew by.

  

We spent our anniversary weekend in Chicago celebrating another milestone event - the baptism of our granddaughter. It was wonderful to spend time with family celebrating two events in one weekend and to the surprise of no-one, the baptism took top billing.  Watching a toddler walk into Church wearing a baptism gown with a “Da Pope” sweatshirt over it and then proceeding to scream as the priest poured holy water over her head, easily overshadowed “Mimi and Pop-pop’s” wedding anniversary.

 

But the day after the baptism brouhaha, we managed to celebrate our day. Our son was working, and our daughter had a flight home that afternoon, so we settled on an early lunch.

 

While sitting in the hotel lobby discussing lunch plans, we couldn’t seem to agree on a suitable restaurant, and it didn’t take long before the conversation starting to turn to what “may have” resembled bickering.  “Where do you want to eat?” You pick.” “How about…” “No, I don’t like that place.” “So, suggest another place.” Sound familiar?

 

As the debate continued, our daughter, who was becoming annoyed, said with exasperation, “You’ve been married 35 years and you’re arguing about where to eat?”  We both looked at her with quizzical expressions and I replied, “Well, yes. Do you honestly think you can be married 35 years and never disagree?”  She is astute enough to know that all couples argue from time to time, but disappointed that her parents were nitpicking over such a trivial decision.

 

Do kids ever outgrow that fear when they see their parents arguing? Wondering if it might lead to them breaking up?  She has nothing to worry about. No marriage is perfect. Ours included, but we have built a life that we love and appreciate, together. We make allowances for those annoying habits. We prioritize time for each other, and work toward common goals. We are a team for life.

 

But my daughter’s comment gave me pause. With so many marriages ending in divorce, what does it take to “go the distance?” To not fall victim to the statistics? To overcome the little annoyances and the big challenges?

 

I asked friends to share their wisdom and secrets for long, happy and thriving marriages. Not surprisingly, there were several common threads.  Commitment. Trust. Kindness. Patience. Not giving up. Encouraging each other. Having fun together. Putting the other person first. In other words, they are in it for the long run – in good times and in bad.

Marlene Johnson asked DC Ranch & Silverleaf residents, the secret to their long-term marriages: