Greetings, my esteemed Stroll readers.

I have read the stories of many of my four-legged colleagues living in the Hill section in these pages, a good-looking and fortunate lot we are.  I thought I would share my story too.  

My name is Dallas I am 5 years old in February and I was born in a cave in Mecca ….. Mecca California that is.  (Que the Beverly Hillbilly music … and if you are not of age to understand that, my humans suggest you “Google it ”, I don’t know what that means either, I can’t google it as the keyboards around here are not ergonomically fit for paws). Anyways, I have five or six siblings of which I am involuntarily estranged.   Maybe if they see this article they will reach out and we can have a reunion.   I supposedly am the runt of the litter, but I am told by my humans that I was the best-looking and the most intelligent of the litter.  My humans are good for my ego.   So far none of my siblings have disputed this but then as I stated, I am estranged.  I really didn’t know my parents although my humans seem to think my lineage is Lab, Pit Bull, Ridgeback and Hound.  I prefer to think of myself as best of breed …. of ALL BREEDS.  I have heard my humans say I am a rescue but really who rescued who?  They needed a dog. I needed a home.  By the way, this rescue thing seems to work.  My rescue was the Love Joy Foundation, I am eternally grateful for them.

 

My formal education is mostly sniff and guess.  I am also self-taught, at the doctorate level, in interpretive thought of humans.  I know what my humans are thinking all the time. Because of this skill, I run the show and simply let my humans think they do.  You should try this; it is a wonderful existence.  My days are filled with walks, food, greetings from neighbors and endless celebrations anytime I have not seen my humans in 10 minutes.   

By this time, you should get the jest of what my life is like, close to heaven on earth!  Living in the Hill section, excellent humans, two squares a day, endless treats and I sleep 15 -16 hours a day either leisurely in the sun or at the foot of my humans’ bed.   However, life has its pitfalls.  Mine seems to be varmints. Did you know the Hill section has more skunks and squirrels per capita than anywhere on Earth?  Yup, it's true …google it.   The squirrels tease me relentlessly and I have yet to meet any of them personally no matter how hard I try, to ask, “Why the incessant teasing”.  The skunks, I have met personally.  All too personally in fact.  One skunk took such offense to me, it shot its body scent straight up my snout, the odor of which no adjective could describe and If I could, it would not be fit for this publication.  That scent from said skunk stunk for three weeks!  (Say that three times fast you humans).   My humans showed their courage through this episode.  They allowed me to maintain my status if I required to numerous peroxide bath concoctions that may or may not have worked very well, olfactory fatigue is a thing I am told …Google it.   

Once a story has dipped into personal hygiene it is always a sign that enough has been said.  I look forward to greeting all of you.  Best – Dallas.